I’m growing up while you are growing older…. Hehe

You may be familiar with the phrase “growing older is mandatory and growing up is optional”. But things didn’t work that way in Syarik Jihan, Mansourah. When I walked through this street in this “crap hole”. People always mistook me as a junior. Last time I checked the mirror, I don’t look blurred as the juniors, and I don’t overdress due to HWS (hyper-arouse winter syndrome)… I don’t try to “takfid suwaiya” for everything that exists in Egypt. And I never lost in Mansourah University. Even though I don’t have any of these idiosyncrasies, some seniors just thought that I’m a freshman.

After a couple of surveys, research done by me for myself… I realized that the most flickering factor is how I look. It is undisputed that I younger than I am. I don’t have a moustache no beard and less hair growing from my epidermis. Yeah it can be frustrating sometimes… I always thought having a moustache and beard would be “macho”. But look at the Brightside! I look younger! And I love it.

Looking younger is not always had been frustrating.. it sometimes gave us some unforgettable memories.

Memory #1 Etisalat Asyarah~

Once my friend and I, both look very young went to a mobile shop nearby to buy an Etisalat “top up” . “friend “ says “etisalat asyarah” (meaning etisalat 10) and the arab guy gave him the etisalat card. The etisalat card is blue in colour. I said “wow, it is blue in colour, last time it is green rite? Egypt sure is a developing country”... we laughed... suddenly a senior (male) came and put his arms around “friend”’s neck and say “hye, do you know that the etisalat card used to be green in colour?” then he open his wallet and show his green etisalat... and my “friend” “really?? They did green etisalat?? I love green etisalat...”... there was an awkward moment... and the senior guy said “where do you live?” “Friend” answered nearby... and he walked away... ahhahaha/.. Who the hell he thinks he is? A “super” senior? If you want to brag you are a senior don’t talk about top up... that’s ultra lame!

Memory 2# FIRST YEAR.

Once my other friend and I went to Rumah Makan Asia for lunch. The restaurant or house was just opened. Therefore, the food arrived late and not so delicious. The owner seems to be so kind... so he will not lose us as his regular customers. He started with a small talk... “kalau kurang gula garam bagitau saja..” My “other friend” replied.”baek...” while doing telepathy with me ...”shit, I don’t care about the taste anymore... he is so slow, I’m just too hungry!” I replied “I feel you man... I’m so hungry I can eat a himar”.. “Yeah...even though the himar is berak cirit!” I respond “…….(T,T)”. We continued eating. The owner seems to know what we feel. I doubt he knows telepathy… but he knew... he tried to spark some random topic... “ tahun satu?” I replied” ya, taun satu.. ” Slurping my bee hoon tom yam while not looking at his face. “He said. “macam mana rasa bile sampai sini”.. “penat gile,, tak sangka Egypt truk camni.. diorg kate pompuan egypt cun2. tapi sume gemok2.. sampah sepah2.. frust btul.. saya x tau la bole study x macam ni..” hehe..(my other friend was laughing in telepathy language…) because of my story.. the owner treat us ais kosong… hehe..

Memory 3# ARE YOU A POLICE ?

During summer, while I’m still in Malaysia. I have pick up my “little” sister from school and send her to a violin exam. That’s means she has to skip school for half a day.. I walk straight to office. And asked them to do an announcement. But they said they don’t do announcement during classes..I go like, WTF? It is an emergency..I arrived late and the exam will start soon… so I suggested that I should walk straight to her class and ask permission from her teacher. They agreed. When I reached her class. It is an English class. So I said “ sorry to bother your class teacher, may I borrow Sarah for a minute, please….” (showing kind and cute-eyes-look) and she replied. “Of course.. may I know who you are? “ she asked. “I’m her biological brother” . Sara told her teacher and packs her bags. After a few steps away from the class, a scary, old dragon lady stopped us “ and where do you think you are going Sarah?” Sarah tried to explain. But I grabbed her wrist and say “she’s going with me” (open and close my eyelashes repeatedly) “who are you?” the dragon lady asked.. “I’m her biological brother “ while putting my arms around Sarah. “ Don’t lie to me? Which school are you from? How could you trespassing this school area??”. I said “ do I look young to you? Aw… but teacher.. the truth I’m her brother and I’m taking her back. Do you want an IC?? Or birth certificate? (moving closer to my sister so she would she the resemblance of our faces while doing the eyelashes thing) she realizes. That I’m her biological brother and keep stressing that I shouldn’t be there.. I said “u a like a police, you know that? I her brother, I should come and pick her up, not some random boy.. you don’t want that do you?.” The accusation of her as a police.. shut her up(because she gets that a lot).. and she said..” I hope this will not be repeated..”

Memory 4# THE LOOK"

Once I was in Langkawi.. I went shopping for chocolates.. there were so many chocolates.. I don’t know which one to pick.. I have to buy everything.. I just got my credit card because I passed 18.. hehe.. I asked he cashier girl, “erm.. cam we use credit card” she said” if you have one,” with a cold look. But,” we can use it, rite?” “she answered lazily.. “yes..” then I shouted to my friend at the corner of the shop” we can use credit card!! Yeah!! Buy anything you want!” that girl was baffled, her eyes became very big like in the anime.. and give a look.. “ this rich son of a bitch”. I just gave a look saying.. “too bad you are just a cashier, and don’t get Mara scholarship~” hehe.. im sorry.. but you asked for it.. underestimated me for my young looks..

You see.. I do look young.. and I’m growing up.. I do have a kernih.. hehe..

Clothes.

“Clothes makes the man. Naked people make little or no influence on society.” That was the famous view of Mark Twain, perhaps reflecting his 19^th century values. Even the hulk did not win the fans by wearing rags.

67% people aren’t hired solely because they do not dress well in their interviews. Most of them dressed like they do not fit for the job. Every agency has its own dress code. The dress code often mirrors how the agencies are. Employees in agencies wears “flip flops” or dressed in tank tops and shorts often be seen standing around in groups taking off work and smoke. On the other hand, employees of agencies dressed in suit or stylish clothing are always seems busy and rushing to the office in office hours.. No doubt, any dress code that infringed to this circle of human behaviour would be frowned upon one and would most likely end up before a third tribunal.

Occasionally, most people tend to wear their clothes according to their mood. They the one who wear their emotions on their sleeves. According to a psychiatrist Sanjay Cugh, these people are known as “Mood Dressers”. Beige and brown often be a perfect choice for furious or pissed off person. On the other flip of the coin, bright pink and yellow will be worn in a very happy day. This is because; colour is just another form of light or electromagnetic energy. Different colours are associated with different types of energies.

Therefore, colour helps one mood states but also the imbalances that might be present.

A national survey has found 7 in 10 people believe a killer outfit and a good hair day are more likely to give them confidence than a nip of their favourite liqueur. Surprisingly, when right clothes were worn it boosts one’s level of confidence. Self confidence actually related to one’s self image, which is mental image it have in its mind. Fortunately, our subconscious mind does not differentiate between the body parts and the clothes that been worn. The consequence is that the self image differs according to the clothes worn and so does the confidence. For example, people feel more confident in summer than winter. Occasionally, in the winter people are unsatisfied with their self image because it looks big as they wear thicker clothes.

The choice of the apparel varies through people around the globe. Different apparels reflect you differently in people eyes. Even though there is the expression “don’t judge a book by its cover”, but the cover is the reason we picked up the book and the book will not be sale until it was picked up. Therefore, which one do you prefer? The hulk who wears rags or a well-cut black suit Batman?

we found that money is maybe the most important thing in our life. everything we do in our requires money. from buying a huge bungalow to pooing in the toilet. everything needs money. so it looks like without money everything is in vain.. thay why people work and strive for money nowadays..money dont come out of your your mouth like they claimed. if that so, i would just sleep and open my mouth snoring then i'll be rich. but cant is money really everything? is there anything out there that money cant buy? we'll get there..

money is yes indeed the one of the most valuable things in the world. lets take the global recession that we faced today. people and getting crazy because of money. small banks are closing everyday and big companies like Ford, AIG, are asking for stimulus money from the goverment. closing of banks and companies results people to loose their jobs. regarding this, these unemployed people may become desperate of money which may leads to commiting crime just to gain money. on the other hand people with money are rushing pawn broker buying guns for protection. you see.. how crazy is the world when there is no money?

eventhough money is very important to us there are things far more valuable that money. one of them is knowledge. money is very important in education. good schools have very expensive fee... its like pay more to learn more rule. lets take this class for example. you need to pay around rm 1500 for 15 classes. which means rm100 for each class. and rm1.67 for every minutes. despite rm500 for materials, they just provide a normal excercise book and photocopies exercises. but we can be picky, knowledge are very,very valuable. rm1500 is nothing compare to what i learnt here. i am fond of the saying "dumb people dont make money, money do make dumb people". paris hilton who cant saying the alphabets according or the dubai brothers who buy all soccer stars for Real Madrid but still didnt win a cup.

other than that, friendship and love are something that money cant buy. you'll be rich if you have a lots of money as money attracts people like magnet. maybe you can hire some poor folks to be your friends, makes some plastic surgery so the poor folks looks like the friends you wish. but will it works? will you have much fun you would have will your real friends. friends that will be there for you in good and bad? im afraid not. the same thing happens in love too. you can see there are many happy average or poor couples out there. but cant hardly see one successful relationship in the rich circle. celebrities. one day they get married and they were divorced on the other day without us knowing. even Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston didnt last long.

there are more things that money cant buy. such as health. but it will be days if i go to the bottomline and talk about them one by one. hence, i want to conclude that everything requires money but money is not everything.. it just not...

Sex or snacks??

Once my friend ask me this question…

I have to admit. It is a very hard question…

Sex and snacks both are the greatest sensual pleasures...

Okay let us evaluate snacks and sex… i think food is better than sex...

Why is food better than sex???

1. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
2. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
3. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
4. You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some.
5. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
6. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure.
7. You can do the whole neighborhood.
8. Buying food isn't against the law.
9. Having lunch with a co-worker won't cause a scandal.
10. If the food was lousy you don't have to lie to the chef.
11. The food won't complain if you're not hungry.
12. You can eat every day of the month.
13. Eating alone is just as fulfilling as eating with a friend.
14. Normal folks can live without sex for long periods.
15. The only protection you need is a napkin.
16. You don't get blisters from cooking your own food too often.

So.. what do you think ??? do you still think sex is better than snacks??

Anyway.. writing about this topic just gave me and idea…

Instead of choosing one. Why don’t we choose both??

But if you watch this video… both are not as great as you imagine…

Hurm… how about mixing something you don’t like with sex.??

Like this picture…

Vegetables plus women?? Still hate greens??

i woke up this morning..

i think today i'll make some changes...

something spark in my mind...

Iwant to be a better man..

better man=

1. good in english
2. know how to play jason mraz guitar
3. know how to play a thousand miles on piano
4. be tough
5. good in sports
6. hafaz the holy quran
7. has a nice hair
8. has a sweet smile
9. stop acting cute and be more cool
10. be ready to be an imam

hurm.. thats a lot of things to achieved.. lets see...

good in english.. looks like i 'll update my blog everyday. IN ENGLISH how's that...

trying to finish reading the paper. his is the tough one.

listen to the news... quite tough... but not as tough as the second one...

and finish a novel in one week.

play jason mraz.. looks like i'll have to practice for an hour daily to manage to play this song.

same goes to the piano.

hurm... I have to control my food to accomplish this. is what you eat is important. i ate only bread and vegetables during sahur.. god boy. minimize carbs during break fast... just two spoon of rice... and some protein and lots of greens...

jogging daily before break fast...

good in sports? hurm.. i'll practice basketball everyday... shooting, lay ups, (both hands)

hafaz quran... i read a juzuk per day... i think thats a lot... maybe i'll hafaz quran in egypt... hehe...

nice hair, i cut my hair... they look nice...

sweet smile? huv one..next!

this is rough... acting cute its natural... but i can act cool... now, its apparetly not enough...

imam? looks like i have to memorize all the important surah and doa... my2...

Today... something happened...

Somebody just doesn’t like me talking bad about icdl...

Why? I don’t know... i actually write blog just for fun...

I don’t know there is anyone out there would take it seriously...

Infact, I don’t but my pictures, my contact or anything...

And I don’t want any of my friends to know or read this blog...

But they read it...

One person said it's funny...

One says I am very high-spirit for writing about a certain subject...

But it seems like most of them said that it's cruel, panas, or just speechless and shocked...

But the truth is I never meant anything that I said...

Alas, you don’t need sad, threaten or feel bad about it...

I appreciate anybody who tries lecturing me and giving advices...

Only one thing that bugged me, please don’t lecture me late night...

I was sleepy, and might not really get what you are saying...

hehe...

from my opinion, blog supposed to be a web were people put commentaries, descriptions or maybe graphics or videos... some people may used them as online diaries...

i thought you can write almost antything... like anep said, there's no such thing as a rude blog. blog is where u can wtte anything you want... i think is something like that... (when he read this h'll defute me.. muahaha like always.. i'll make sure i'll huv my mp3..)

hurm... but I don’t care... I only write this blog because I’m bored...

Wth... Screw them...

Today I just got my new passport… it was a very strenuous day…

The process was pretty troublesome..

More problems occurred when I said I am a student and I should be charged only rm150..

I have to Photostat my IC, offer letter and my student card.

The biggest problem is, my student card is azhar mansourah..

Hahaha.. the Lady at the counter asked, “are you an azhar student??

I opened my mouth to pronounce NO!! but I stopped… sealed my lips back…

Long pause… I thought I say no then she’ll ask other questions.. more or my precious time time will be wasted.. the offer letter is in Arabic….

Could she read Arabic??? I doubt that… hehe..

Hence, confidently I said “of course la, azhar cawangan mansourah.. PELAJAR azhar.. ”
(I emphasize the word PELAJAR so that she would not misunderstanding me saying.. “nama saya azhar, mansourah Manchester program…” like Danial long time ago)

Who is Azhar??? I don’t think that is significant enough to be written in this blog today.. maybe some other time, or maybe never.. hehehe… (come on, you really want to know about him??? I’ll make a new post just about him if you want to.. hehe…)

Back to the story, suddenly a guy who sits beside the lady (the lady’s workmate/lover) said “ustaz bile flight??” “wtf??” I was shocked.. is there any of my alim ulama friends around… by reflex I looked down… like an emu, putting its head in the hole when it is in danger… I just looked down, not making any noise, trying not to breath (so they cant detect my Qi..)… “USTAZ?? Bile flight?? Cam sedey je nak fly..” then I realized the ustaz is referring to me.. hik2…I was relieved.. I smiled and answered “da fly da..nak renew passport je..” hehe.. making an angelic face… “ susah x study??” he asked.

“susah tu susah jugak… tapi Alhamdulillah saya dapat pikap...” I replied.. saying the words one by one with extreme politeness. I tried to make it look as tawadaq as I can… (tawadaq is an alim word… don’t think I don’t know any!! Hehe..) the lady still not buying it.. “the kernih just look too stupid..” she said.. yeah right…even if I make a copy, my copy would be more convincing than the original! But the guy said”da ada kad tu, lulus kan je laa…”
the lady look straight at me… I gave her a very innocent look, like the pussy in the boots in Shrek…

She said” bayar kat kaunter ya”… huahuahua I laughed in my heart… “terima kasih byk2ye kak.. kalau x de kakak abisla saya kna bayar rm300…” I replied…

Khikhikhi… this remind me of the story about two horny couples..

al kisah tersebutlah kisah,
arakian berjalanlah kedua-dua pasangan yang telah lanjut usia, menuju ke kaunter imigresen, niat di hati nak pegi umrah…
tiba di sana dimintaklah borang untuk diisi,
Isteri: abang faham ker borang tu mcm maner nak isi
Suami: ala abang ni kalau setakat form orang putih ni kacang jer
Name: Ali Bin Deraman
Age: 63
***: _______________
bila dah masuk bab *** ni yang payah
si suami pon bertanya isteri
suami: *** tu aper yer Yang…?
isteri: ish tanya kiter lak…. tadi kata kacang
suami: setahu abang *** ni yang itu-itu tuuuuu… (sambil mencocok telapak tangan isterinya)
isteri: iyer ker bang……… benda macam ni pon depa nak tau gak ker
suami: agak-agak abang itulah kot
isteri: abis dia nak kita tulis apa kalau pasal benda tu bang..
suami: dia nak confirm kita sihat ker tak kot……
isteri: a’ah!!! abis tu abang nak tulis apelah
suami: kita tulis ajelah apa2 yg boleh yakinkan depa yg kita ni masih sihat dan kuat
isteri: dia nak tahu berapa kerap kot………(tersenyum tersipu-sipu)
suami: a’ah! bijak juga isteri abang ni…
isteri: abang nak tulis camner bang
suami: everyday kot…
isteri: everyday tu apa bang
suami: tiap-tiap hari ler
isteri: mak aiiii!!!……… dah buang tebiat ker org tua ni, masa mula2 kahwin dulu boleh ler… abang tak malu ker tulis macam tu dah tua-tua begini
suami: iyer tak iyer jugak kan, abis tu nak tulis ape
isteri: abang tulis jer lah jarang-jarang, kan dia nak tahu kita sihat ker tak jer…. jarang-jarang tu dah kira ok aper kalau banding ngan umur kita yg dah tua ni…
suami: baiklah………abang isi jarang-jarang ajelah
Name: Ali Bin Deraman
Age: 63
***: Seldom
bla…bla…bla…
Di kaunter
Peg.Imigresen: Semua dah lengkap pakcik cuma satu jer yg tak jelas sangat
Ali: Apa dia nak
Peg. imigresen: pasal *** ni kenapa pakcik tulis SELDOM
Ali: syyyyyyyyyyyhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (pelan-pelan nak…)
Peg.Imigresen: (kenapa pakcik?)
Ali: malu nak…..
————————————————————-
Passport pon siap selepas seminggu
Suami: oh! lain kali kalau ada form tanya pasal *** kena bubuh M rupanya, macam dia tahu jer aku ni saiz M jer…….
Isteri: yang saya ni lak apsal dia bubuh F
suami: eh!eh! tengok Yang… iye tak iye gak, agaknya sebab awak selalu fail kot
Isteri: fail apernya bang?
Suami: awak kan mandul…………..